This morning I am very proud to announce that after the third and final leg of the Flame Relay, held in San Francisco on Wednesday, Team UK has come out as top team.
The event is San Francisco descended further into farce to the point where many of San Franciscos finest did not even know where the flame had gone. At one point the torch 'disappeared' into a building before turning up completely on the other side of town!
After counting up all the points and replaying the news footage the judge (me) has no doubt that Team UK is the clear winner. This judgement is based on the fact that in London alone the torch managed to follow the planned route, was never doused, was never snatched from the hands of the rightful runner,and the Police did their duty impeccably and with minimum force, thus upholding the Olympic ideal.
Team UK are the proud winners of the first Olympic Gold of the 2008 Olympics! Yeeeah!
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